he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
