I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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