overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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