You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
