seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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