So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
