Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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