Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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