I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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