I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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