im having a threesome with these popsicles
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I think people are normalizing furries
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
