I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
birth control should be required to get into college
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Can I color on your dick again?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
