my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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