I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
