So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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