every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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