...so i touched it.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
