ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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