before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
