so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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