he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
