My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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