perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
