Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
