There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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