I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
