I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
