ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Let's get the cat blown out
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize