everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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