No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
