He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
