Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
