I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
