thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
