just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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