he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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