I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
well you can't waste a boner
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
