just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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