How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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