i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
