drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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