thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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