i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
