Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
