fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
