we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
