When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
