3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
