it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize