you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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