She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
