I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
