I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
