so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
