I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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