So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
