There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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