I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
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