On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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