i think my tv is drunk
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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