i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
