Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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