Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
