it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
