omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
