So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
