Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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