i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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