so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
