I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
