A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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