apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
