i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
We left an ass print on the piano.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
