as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize