After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
