I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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