You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
