Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
it wasn't lemon gatorade
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
