carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
