i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
