Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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